Monday, August 26, 2013

Iron Sky

*Warning spoilers ahead*
Iron Sky is a low budget, sci-fi film about Nazis from the dark side of the moon invading Earth. Yes, it's a dumb as it sounds. However, the movie's so stupid, it's actually pretty funny. There's a great joke at the expense of North Korea, that I just love. Also, Vivian (Peta Sergeant) and Renate (Julia Dietze) are very sexy. The ladies are easily the best part of this failing of a story.

The special effects are to be commended. For a film of this budget, they are rather well done. The story fails on all accounts to be anything serious or remotely plausible. The dialoge is filled with cliches and horrible writing. This is a film you will never see on telelvision. I've seen made-for-tv movies with better scripts. An example of the horrible plot, the fact they inject a black astronaut with a syrum that makes him an albino and they say they've "made him Ayran." WTF?!?! Also, to sneak past some Nazis, Renate plays the national anthem and they all stop, mid activity and salute. Ugh.  Then there's where Klaus Adler gets stabbed in the forehead with the heel of a boot while being crouched down. He then gets up, stagers around and falls over dead. Ouch. But the biggest criminal in the acting category would be Stephanie Paul as the Sarah Palin inspired President of the United States. Some of the worst acting I've ever seen.

The horrible plot, dialoge and acting aside, this is a movie I would watch again. Mainly for the very attractive Vivian and Renate. Aside from them, this movie isn't worth the time really. At least it's not a boring movie. It is packed with some pretty good space fights.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

The King's Speech

I've just watched The King's Speech. While I must say that I didn't expect to enjoy it too awfully much, I thoroughly loved it. Colin Firth did an exquisite job as King George VI. The acting is very well done. The little bits of humor throughout really add a little punch to the film to keep it from being to mundane and serious.

In this film, Firth really makes you believe that he's got a stutter. When he's preparing for the speech declaring war, he truly did a wonderful job appearing to be in the moment and in the role. Aside from Firth, the acting by the entire cast is well done and they should be commended for their efforts.
If you have two hours to spare, I really think you should watch this film. It's very well done and I think you'd enjoy it.

Monday, August 19, 2013

The Collector

So for this review, it will be The Collector starring a guy I personally know but haven't seen for several years, Josh Stewart. I must say that not only is this film dark in content but it's also dark in lighting. What was the budget, $20? And when I say that it's dark in content, I mean that this movie is 100%, Grade A fucked up. In an awesome, gory kinda way.

I'll start off by saying that the Collector himself is one sick and twisted individual, for whom there is NO chance of rehabilitation. Dr. Phil, in his Texas accent would even say "Son, you are one sick motherfucker." Personally, I don't think any real life serial killer would've thought of this sorta stuff. In fact, I would like to meet the individual that DID come up with it, simply so I could suggest they get some SERIOUS psychological help.

The acting is rather well done from a cast of lesser known and young actors. This film had me legitimately cringing. The one scene that made me cringe the most was when Arkin (Stewart) got his hand caught in the window by the razor blades. I also feel this part dragged on a tad to long. It would have been just as effective had it been a little bit shorter.

All-in-all a pretty damn good movie. Definitely not for the faint of heart as this is one sick ass movie. But if you're a fan of blood and gore, I recommend this film to you.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

So I watched Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen again. I've seen it more than half a dozen times and I love it every time I see it. I don't care what anyone thinks, I think it's the best of the three. The humor in it just adds to the overall quality. My favorite characters in this installment are easily the Twins, Skids and Mud Flap...and you can't forget Wheelie.

I know that some people felt that the Twins were a racial stereotype of black people. I think that's bullshit. Just beause Skids has a gold tooth and they "don't do much readin'" doesn't mean they were supposed to reflect an entire race of people. To think that is very narrow minded.

And the interactions between Mr. and Mrs. Whitwicky in the scene just after the kitchen appliances are turned into Decepticons is just hilarious..."I'm gonna skinny dip and you can't say shit about it!"

So I must say that if you haven't seen these movies yet, you've got to see them. They're great. Admittedly the third is the "worst" of the three.

Friday, January 25, 2013

The Hunger Games

So let me start off by saying that I haven't read the books, I know, I know. But once I saw the movie, I plan to get the whole book series. If you haven't seen The Hunger Games starring Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson you really need too. It's an excellent movie and there are actually some scenes that choke me up, very few movies ever do that. This movie is great all around. The acting is excellent, the make-up artists that worked on this film were incredible. Jennifer Lawrence owned the role of Katniss Everdeen and deserves every award shes won. I'm looking forward to the sequel which is currently scheduled to be released on November 22, 2013.

If anything like the Hunger Games ever took place in reality, oh, trust me, the shit would hit the fan...admittedly it would've had to have done that before hand. But to think that humans could do that to others, well that wouldn't go over too well.

While I'm not big on films that have a political or even religious overtones. The closest I'll go with those are usually conspiracy movies. But this movie is incredible. Easily one of the best films to come out in probably the last my opinion that is. I hope you get a chance to watch it and enjoy it as much as I did.

Until next time, I'm Crash Underride.

P.S. I want a bow and arrows like Katniss uses during the Hunger Games. Those are just awesome.

Sunday, January 13, 2013


This entry I'm covering the 2012 movie Decay and I will be writing the review as I progress through the movie. The movie made by actual physicists at CERN. I must say, I don't expect to much from a bunchof physicists who aren't actual actors, but 12 minutes in the acting hasn't proven terrible.

The security guard at the front door, all I can say is "poor guy". He didn't looked enthused about his job. I'll miss the chick that played Lisa, she was hot.....needed some mocha in the movie. Yeah, that's what you wanna do when you have people chasing you after they've been exposed to deadly radiation....wonder off on your own, jackass. So the first actual "fight" scene isn't acted all that well, but is it sad when I've seen professional actors who are worse?
This movie was made on a budget of less than $3,500 and you'd think it would look like crap, but the camera work's pretty damn good so far.

To be dealing with zombies for the first time, these characters are rather calm and collected. Plus, I've never once seen a zombie get downed with a rod through the gut.

I think now should be the time that I mention that I think Zoƫ Hatherell is hot. So far, she's my favorite part of this go alone with the science aspect. Yes I'm a nerd, we're fuckin' awesome and your just jealous lol.

Is it just me or does the audio kinda go up and down a little? I've had to change the volume about three times.

Man, this Matt guy's an asshole. How do you NOT know to not say you fucked a guys sister IN FRONT of the chicks brother?! Okay, how does a zombie hear a loud noise and not go after it, let alone smell the people that are less than 5 feet from it? And that's two down, three to go. Tick-tock kiddies. Oh for the love of God! Every. Fucking. Horror move! I want to see just one horror movie WITHOUT two characters falling for each other while running from the enemy.
Smart, save ammo when you can and crush the zombies head in. But then again, when you have a lot of zombies a machine gun and lots and lots of ammo, empty the clip. Whoops, saw a small special effects mistake one Connor.

Whenever I see someone with a screwdriver or something impailed in the eye, I think of Phineas Gage. Everytime there's a thud the camera shakes....I think that was a bad choice in camera work.

Well, all-in-all not a bad movie. Wouldn't win any Oscars, but I think it was pretty good. I recommend it if you like zombie movies.

Well, until next time, I am Crash Underride.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Resident Evil: Retribution

So for this entry I saw Resident Evil: Retribution. This film already gets a thumbs up from me, Michelle Rodriguez...anything with her is worth watching. Or as I call her (jumping on the A-Rod, etc. bandwagon) M-Rod. Even if M-Rod's only in one scene of a movie, I'll watch the whole damn thing, just to see her. Much like I'll watch anything with Ariana Grande, but that's for another time.

Just the thought of Alice working with Wesker is just not something I would've thought of. Also, I'm tickled pink that Kevin Durand, one of my favorite actors, is in this film. He's awesome at playing a badass. I guess that's why he's been typecast as such.

I love it. An undead army with weapons...reminds me of the film Outpost.

I think it's needless to say, but this film has one hell of a climatic fight scene. M-Rod and Milla Jovovich doin' some badassery like they always do. I'm gonna say it already, They are the queens of action and straight up badass.

I love how every film in the Resident Evil series ends with a scene setting up the next film. I wish more film franchises would do that.